Dese Flies
by thecreepingwolf
Summary: A magical ailment afflicts one of our favorite main characters. What's that Luna? The motherf*ckin breast flies done afflicted this place?


Dese Flies

Harry stared blankly as Professor Snape droned on and on about some insipid potion history. Needless to say Potions was one of Harry's least classes due to the fact that his least liked Professor taught it. Potions themselves were alright. Today's lesson had been particularly dull but at least, Snape hadn't insisted on ridiculing Harry in front of the whole class.

With only a few minutes of class left, the boy with the lightning bolt scar on his forehead contented himself with looking dully around the room. Everyone else appeared to be a as bored as he was. Except Hermione, of course, who was intently listening as if truly interested. Hell, she probably _was_ truly interested considering how seriously she took education. As Harry looked on he noticed her hand snake it's way under her robes and upward to make a discreet scratching movement near her breasts. A few minutes passed when once again Hermione snuck her hand up her shirt but with a bit less subtlety. Her face bore a look of strained concentration.

"_I guess she has a rash or something...ugh." _he thought before he noticed everyone was putting their books away. Finally they were dismissed! Harry wasted no time packing up and joining Hermione and Ron as they left the dungeon.

"Glad thats over." said Ron who, by the looks of the drool stain on his sleeve didn't hear much of the lecture.

" You went to _sleep,_ Ron! Even if you were awake, I'm sure you wouldn't have been paying attention but _sleeping _during class is just rude!" Hermione admonished

"Even _you _had to admit _that_ was one boring_-_." Ron was cut off by a book slapping his head.

"Why do you have to get so violent!?" He wailed, clutching his head.

Hermione simply rolled her eyes and walked on ahead of them:

"I've got to go to the bathroom but you two can go on."

With that she disappeared down a corridor. Harry and Ron continued on to the Great Hall.

By the time Hermione rejoined her two best friends Harry had gone through two plates and Ron four. Harry chuckled at the irritated look she shot at the red head who failed to notice. Hermione then preoccupied herself with eating.

Harry had just started on his Treacle Tart when a subtle movement caught his eye. Hermione was moving from side to side ever so slightly. After a minute or two she readjusted so that her chest was pressed up against the edge of table. She then continued the strange side to side movement; dragging her breasts against the tables edge. Harry grimaced to mask the smile trying to break across his face.

When Hermione started on her dessert without finishing her first plate she was still performing the obscene side to side movement. Her hair hung in front of her face so no-one could see the way it looked. After finishing dessert Hermione quickly stood and said.

"I'm going to bed early. Bye."

Then she hurriedly walked away.

But Ron had noticed how her face looked.

"Hey, Harry, whats up with Hermione?" he said through his stuffed mouth.

"What do you mean?" replied Harry, hoping Ron wasn't about to point out the breast scratching. Having an in depth discussion on such a topic was awkward to say the least.

"I mean her face. It was red...irritated. Like she was on the verge of tears but... more frustrated then sad." continued Ron. Harry breathed a sigh of relief before replying.

"Maybe theres something on here mind." Harry purposely said this in a 'throw away' manner to end the discussion. He then finished desert and was just about to get up when Luna Lovegood stopped him.

" Can I have a word with you Harry? Its very important." she said in her usual dreamy voice.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

" I needed to warn you about the flies, Harry." said Luna.

"The flies?" replied Harry, perplexedly.

"Yes, the flies." she continued. " I'm surprised you know about them since so far they've only been seen in the girl's bathrooms and the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw dormitories, but I'm pretty sure they'll be seen all over Hogwarts soon." The seriousness with which the blond said this negated the silliness of what was said.

"So theres a fly problem...er...whats the big deal?" asked Harry

"These aren't normal flies Harry!" she managed to sound exasperated rather then dreamy. " These flies come from a spell gone wrong and they breed prolifically, I reckon they'll be everywhere soon, and then Hogwarts will have to be shut down for at least a while and then -

"Look Luna, if theres an infestation problem I'm sure it can be repaired by a spell of some sort." Interrupted Harry. Unsurprisingly this one of those odd insights into Luna's eccentric mind. As he stood up he added:

"Why don't you look up what kind of spell caused it so you can find an effective way to counter it?" Saying this made it appear as though he gave Luna some credibility so as not to hurt her feelings. However he quickly walked away before she could say anymore. He didn't hear her mumble: "Its not that simple. You have to find the source of Flies to get rid of them...."

Harry met Ron in the common room. He had disappeared as soon as Luna showed up so as to avoid her awkward rambling. Hermione was nowhere in sight; having gone to bed already.

"What did Loony want?" asked Ron

"She wanted to inform us about a fly problem in the girl's bathrooms and dorms." replied Harry with a laugh.

"Bloody hell...shes getting worse by the day..." mumbled Ron as they both made their way up to the dorms.

Sleep came surprisingly easy considering all that Harry had on his mind: Professor Umbridge's increasingly invasive educational decrees. Professor Umbridge herself. Unnerving dreams.

But tonight nothing bothered him.

* * *

The next morning he met Ron in the common room. Hermione had gone on ahead of them so she wouldn't be late for class. Typical behavior on her part.

"Its 10 minutes early and she ran down there as soon as she came out of the dorms. Stupid." said Ron while rolling his eyes.

They both headed down to Charms. As they passed through the open portrait hole a loud buzzing erupted in Ron's ear. He slapped himself in the side of the head, killing the insect and leaving a gooey smear on his jaw. He held open his hand to examine the pest.

"What the hell...?" he spoke in almost a whisper.

It was a fly, but a huge one about the size of a large marble. Putrid yellow ooze was dripping from it's smashed body.

"Harry, look at the size of this thing! It can't be normal..." he said in astonishment. When Harry turned to look at the creature he was pleasantly bemused. Maybe Luna wasn't so loony after all. Ron tossed the fly to the floor and then wiped his hand on his robes.

"Ugh, Ron its too gross to leave smeared on yourself" said Harry pulling out his wand and pointing it at the red head's face.

"Harry, no-" started Ron.

"_Scourgify_!" interrupted Harry. The stain on Ron's face disappeared. Now it was time to get rid of the one on his robes.

"Harry, wait!"cried the red head, covering the second stain with his potions text book. It was only now that Harry realized the undesirable location of the second stain. Absent mindedly, Ron had smeared the yellow fluid almost right in front of his...delicate lower extremities. If the spell malfunctioned for some reason who knows what could happen.

"I think I'll leave that one alone for now and go change" said Ron nervously.

"Yeah...good idea." agreed Harry while putting his wand away.

Ron changed robes and then they both hurried off to charms. Harry swore he could smell the foul odor lingering. Hermione was already sitting at a table with two bullfrogs and a raven. The frogs were croaking and the raven cawing rather loudly.

"_Silencio!_" said Hermione and the frog nearest to her fell silent.

Harry and Ron plopped down next to her and pulled out their wands as well. The whole room was alive with animal sounds, mostly frogs and birds. Students everywhere were attempting to silence the animals with varying levels of success .

"Where have you two been...and, my god, what is that smell?" asked Hermione.

"Its that noticeable?" asked Ron.

"Yes...its like...ass." immediately after saying this Hermione looked aghast at her own crude choice of words.

"Sorry...um..." she turned her attention to her bullfrog. Harry and Ron did the same with their animals.

"_Silencio!"_ said Harry, pointing his wand at his loudmouthed frog. Instead of silencing the creature a stream of foul language began to pour from the frog.

"_Silencio! Silencio!"_ Cried Harry trying to get the animal to shut up before Professor Flitwick could hear it. Luckily the room was pretty loud and Flitwick was tending to a student who had accidently killed their frog. Ron was hysterical with laughter.

"You're not helping!" spat Harry in anger.

"_Silencio"_ said Hermione calmly. Of course this silenced the frog immediately.

"Thanks." said Harry

The rest of the day was rather uneventful until the three got back to the common room: Six more big fat flies were buzzing around.

"Are we having an infestation or something!?" blurted out Ron as he began _Stunning_ them which, because of their small size, caused them to explode into foul smelling yellow puddles.

"Ron, stop! You're fouling up the place-" Hermione began.

"What am I supposed to do? The little bastards are everywhere." replied the red head.

"Obviously these aren't normal flies, that ones the size of a golf ball." she said while pointing at a particularly bloated looking blue tinted fly.

"Harry, what did Luna say about these flies again?" asked Ron.

"Luna said they come from a spell gone wrong and are prolific breeders. She also said they have to be gotten rid of by magical means...or something like that." replied Harry.

"Hold on." said Hermione. " Luna knows something about this?" asked Hermione with an almost imperceptible hint of nervousness.

"Yeah. She was the first person to mention seeing them. She said they were in the girls bathrooms and dorm rooms. Is that true Hermione?" said Harry.

"Yes. I've known about them for a while but haven't had a chance to research how to get rid of them. I'll go to the library tomorrow and poke around for some information." said Hermione before whisking away towards the girls dorms.

"Where are you going?" asked Ron.

"To bed." replied Hermione without looking back.

"Is she mad at me?" asked Ron.

"Don't think so. Shes been a bit weird the last couple of days anyway." said Harry. "Have you noticed shes lost weight?" he added.

"Er...no. Is that why shes upset? Because girls like being complimented on that kind of stuff and I haven't paid her any attention?" asked the red head.

"No Ron. I meant in a bad way." said Harry, irritated at his friend's stupidity. "I mean she hardly eats, she studies all the time, and never wants to be around us after class."

"Maybe she's stressing herself out." suggested Ron. "I wouldn't be too worried about it since this is _Hermione_ were dealing with."

"Yeah, she can take care of herself." said Harry as they continued to the boys dorm and launched into an argument about Quidditch.

Sleep was rough for Harry tonight. Images of bloated flies glaring at him malevolently fused with images of Hermione's frustrated face. It was an oddly repulsive combination.

**************

Meanwhile, in the girl's dorm, Hermione was wide awake. She had drawn the curtains around her bed and cast a noise blocking charm. Leaning against her head board was a large mirror. She sat before it in her underwear observing how much weight she had lost. Her slipping appetite had landed her in this condition.

"This has to stop." she whined. Tears were forming in her eyes. Her hands began frantically scratching her breasts which were bruised from the rough treatment they've endured for the last couple of days.

The bushy haired girl's face screwed up in frustration as she squoze both breasts with bruising force.

"Why..." she asked for the hundredth time in two days. Then she fell into a fitful sleep as flies buzzed overhead.

* * *

Harry woke up to a tumult of screams and crashing. Drawing back the curtains of his bed he saw boys crashing this way and that. Furniture was knocked over and even a broken window. Looking up, he saw the cause of the commotion: The flies had multiplied overnight. A thick shiny swarm of them hung overhead buzzing like a distant chainsaw.

"Holy shit!" cried Harry as he stumbled out of bed and down the stairs to the common room. As he neared his destination it occurred to him that an awful amount of screaming was coming from down below as well. He soon saw that all the girls had come pouring out of their dorms as well. Amid the chaos he spotted Hermione.

"Are they in the girl's dorms too?" he shouted over the vocal conundrum.

"Yeah, they're everywhere, even in the halls." she replied.

Students began Stunning the insects like crazy; creating a rain of foul smelling pus.

"No! Don't kill them; they'll drip!" shrieked Hermione as she and Harry tried to dodge the onslaught of yellow rain.

No-one listened. Harry and Hermione ran outside the Gryffindor common room and into the halls where they found Ron.

"I tried to alert professor McGonagall but instead ran into Umbridge." he said breathlessly. "The bitch says theres no need to worry or even discuss the matter further. Says the matter is beyond the concern of students!"

"What!?"said Hermione and Harry in unison.

"You heard me! She basically said to ignore them!"

Everyone was aware of Umbridge's attempts to limit student awareness of what was going on in the world but how _flies_ had anything to do with it was beyond everyone.

"Why would she want us to ignore _flies_?" asked Ron. Nether of his friends could offer an answer. But more importantly it was time for breakfast. The trio headed down to the Great Hall, passing a group of Ravenclaws who were covered in yellow including Luna Lovegood who joined the trio on their walk.

"They got you too?" asked Ron.

"Oh, yes. It was rather messy. I reckon I'll smell bad for a week." replied Luna rather conversationally.

The four sat down and began eating.

"We have to stop this or they'll be all over Hogwarts." said Luna.

"What makes this our responsibility?" asked Hermione.

"Well, you three always go investigating things when stuff gets crazy, so I assumed you'd want to look into this."replied the blonde.

"No thanks." said Hermione rather petulantly.

"Hold on a minute." interjected Harry. "Maybe shes got a point."

"How?" asked both Ron and Hermione.

"Umbridge obviously doesn't want students knowing to much about it; _that_ alone is worth looking into." said Harry thoughtfully.

"Also, last night, you said you were going to research them anyway, Hermione." said Ron.

Hermione merely scowled oddly at him.

"I've already began research on them." said Luna. "They're called Tit Flies. They dwell in the breasts of the person who inadvertently summoned them-"

"_What _did you call them_"_ asked Ron through a mouth full of sausage.

"Tit Flies. You can think of them as a nasty side effect of magic gone bad." said the blonde. "I read about them in a book I borrowed from Hagrid on obscure magical creatures."

No-one said anything; everyone just looked disgusted as Luna continued reading from a page torn from the aforementioned book.

"When killed, Tit Flies release foul smelling ooze. They breed so fast

that the only sure-fire way to eliminate them is to take out their source."

"But doesn't that mean _killing_ someone?" asked Harry.

"Not necessarily. Tit Flies can usually be exorcized without causing death. However, if the infection is advanced the procedure can cause death."

"No wonder Umbridge doesn't want students getting involved_: this is crazy_." said Ron now completely ignoring his food for once. "If students ran around trying to find who had flies in their tits things could get out of hand..." he trailed off to giggle perversely. Harry and Luna joined in while Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'm finished." she said before walking away briskly.

"Hermione is upset." said Luna as she gazed after the other girl's retreating form.

"She just needs to loosen up." said Ron "So where do we start?" he added.

"You really want to investigate?" asked Harry, surprised.

"It's the weekend and we've got nothing better to do." was the reply.

"Alright." said Harry. " Where do we start Luna?"

"We should begin evaluating our information so far." said the blonde with a smile. "You'll remember they were first spotted in the girls bathrooms and common rooms. This coupled with the fact that they're called Tit Flies denotes that a girl is the most likely host. Whoever it is was probably trying hide the problem by releasing the flies in the bathrooms but soon started unintentionally releasing them in their sleep thus filling the Gryffindor girl's dorms."

" So we're dealing with a Gryffindor here?" asked Ron.

"Not necessarily. They were found in the Ravenclaw common rooms too. So it could be a Ravenclaw that paid a visit to the Gryffindor dorms." said Luna.

"I don't recall any Ravenclaw girls visiting recently." said Harry with a furrowed brow. "It could just as easily be the opposite though. Luna, has any Gryffindor girls been in the Ravenclaw common room?"

"Only Hermione."

Both Ron and Harry erupted in laughter at the thought of their overachieving friend being the culprit. Surely Hermione was too skilled to have accidently summoned something so horrible.

"We need to see if she has symptoms." said the blonde thoughtfully. " There should be itchiness, weight loss,irritability, swelling and in the later stages bruising and a foul odor similar to when the flies are smashed."

Harry stopped laughing.

" Hermione _has_ been scratching her breasts a lot lately; almost compulsively. _And _shes lost weight!" said Harry, looking back and forth at Ron and Luna excitedly.

"We need to see if she has the other symptoms to be sure it's not just a rash but I think we're on to a good start." said Luna

" And how exactly are we going to do _that_ ?" asked Ron incredulously. "Just walk up to her and say: 'Hey Hermione can you take your top off so we can check for Tit Flies!?'"

"Yes." Luna said this as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

" Me and Harry are blokes! It might be O.K for _you_ to ask for a look-see but who knows what she'd do if we asked." said Ron.

"You're friends, though. I reckon I wouldn't mind if you or Harry asked me to open my shirt." said Luna dreamily without even the most remote hint of suggestiveness. Ron buried his face in his arms while Harry continued the conversation.

"How about you ask her and then report what you saw to me and Ron?" he asked.

"People stricken with Tit Flies can react in ways they normally wouldn't, so I would be more comfortable if you two came with me." said the blonde. "You can hide if you like though." she added.

"Alright, lets do it" said Harry.

"I can't believe this." said Ron who's face matched his hair from suppressing his laughter.

The three of them got up and began looking for Hermione. They started in the bathrooms. There was no sign of her. As they walked through a particularly isolated corridor there was a sound:

"Flies...why flies....I shouldn't have."

It was a female voice, thick with tears, and awfully familiar.

"Hello? Hermione, is that you?" asked Harry

As they drew closer to the figure they saw it was indeed their target.

"Why are you crying?" asked Luna.

"I tripped and twisted my ankle but I'm alright now." she said.

"Oh, OK...well Luna wants to talk to you...so me and Harry will leave you girls alone..." said Ron as he and Harry whisked around the corner to hide.

"What is it Luna?" asked Hermione.

"Our search for the Tit Fly Host has been going quite well." began Luna.

"Oh, well good for you three." said the brunette.

" Harry said you've been displaying symptoms lately so I thought we should check you out." continued the blonde.

"Harry said what?"asked Hermione through clenched teeth.

"I need you to un-button your shirt and undo your bra so I can look at your breasts." Luna said rather casually.

"Uh..What...No!" exclaimed Hermione.

Without warning, Luna lunged at Hermione and began tearing at the buttons of her shirt.

"Let go of me!" cried the brunette.

"Harry, Ron, help!" said Luna.

Harry and Ron came rushing back around the corner. Each of the boys seized one of Hermione's arms while Luna continued to tear at the shirt. Buttons flew everywhere as the blouse opened to reveal a white lace bra. Behind the bra were the objects to be inspected.

"Almost got it." said Luna.

But she never got the bra off. Footsteps were echoing around the corner; coming straight for them. Harry, Ron and Luna turned to run. As they did so, a horrible stench filled the air. It was coming from Hermione, who had fallen on the floor looking very pissed. But there was no time to celebrate their find. The three retreated outside.

*************

Once safely outside the Tit Fly Host hunters evaluated the situation.

"I didn't have a chance to see if she was bruised or swollen, but we all smelled the odor." said Luna.

"Yeah...but now what?" asked Ron while trying to catch his breath.

"We need to exorcize her." replied the blonde.

"How?"asked Harry.

"I've got a text book on removal of obscure magical parasites in my dorm. I'll have to get it before the flies make it impossible."

"Um...is this going to be dangerous?" asked Ron.

"If she's in the later stages of the illness it could be fatal. But in that case she's as good as dead anyway...It gets pretty awful in the advanced stages...." said Luna absently.

"We don't have a choice." said Harry. "But if only she would've said something earlier this could've been avoided. Dammit Hermione. I guess admitting she had such a big magical mis-hap and couldn't fix it herself was just too embarrassing to admit...." he trailed off.

"Top that off with how risque the infestation is and I see why she would be reluctant to tell. Especially now that the whole school knows." said Ron.

"I'll be right back. I need to get some stuff. Meet me back in the hallway we last saw her in." said Luna before she scampered back inside.

***********

Twenty minutes later Luna met the boys in the hallway. She was carrying a bagful of mysterious items and had her wand at the ready. Harry and Ron did the same. The blonde briefed them on the situation.

"Right now all the professors are out on the grounds busy with emergency procedures. Most of the students are out there with them except a few who stayed to run amok under the circumstances so we shouldn't run into any trouble." said Luna. "Also, Professor Umbridge was just found dead...she inhaled a particularly large fly and strangled."

Harry and Ron exchanged looks of apprehension. Something about this situation seemed wrong but they couldn't quite put their fingers on what it was. Ron was first to break the un-easy silence.

"Has any-one else felt an odd sense of...wrongness about this situation?" asked the redhead.

"Yes." said Luna. "Actually it's been hanging around since we tried to expose Hermione earlier."

"I don't like this..."Harry began and trailed off.

In silent agreement not to elaborate further on the odd sense of repulsion the trio began the job of tracking down Hermione.

There was a clot of yellow so dark as to be almost brown. It was also crusty indicating it wasn't fresh. This was the spot they had jumped Hermione an hour earlier. In the process they had ruptured either one or both breasts which, considering how easily they took damage, probably meant they were worn out from the infestation.

Smaller droplets led down the corridor. Luna kept her eyes on the trail while Harry and Ron kept their's peeled for Hermione. The spoor led to a staircase which the followed down to ground level. The flies weren't as bad as they were upstairs where they packed every crack and crevice.

The stains were getting lighter though still not exactly fresh. They led the trio throughout the ground floor and down to the dungeons and to a staircase they had never seen before. Harry regretted not having the Marauder's Map with them.

After descending the staircase, they found themselves in a long abandoned area evidently part of Hogwarts no-longer in use.

The spoor had become pretty fresh; yellow and only just beginning to congeal. There were only about eight golf ball sized flies clinging to the ceiling. Hermione must not of frequented this place often for there to be so few.

As they proceeded the air became dank the spoor mingled with shallow puddles of water. Speaking of the spoor; there were now yellow stains on the walls as well as the floors, as if Hermione had began moving along the walls for support. This kicked their search into high gear...Until they hit a dark area.

"_Lumos." _said all three automatically.

"Luna, stand up and help us keep watch. The trails' visible enough now that you don't need to watch the floors."said Harry.

Luna rose from her previously crouching position began watching the darkness as well. After a while they heard it. A great buzzing unlike anything on the upper floors. Interlaced with the buzzing was ragged, harsh human breathing. It was coming from behind a door with a faded "Girl's Bathroom" sign on it. They entered into a very old bathroom, covered in mold and filth. It was pitch black save for the light coming from their wands. One particularly nasty stall was emitting the noise.

Slowly, tentatively, Ron pulled it open.

And immediately let it shut.

"What is it?" asked Harry.

"I don't know...not sure..." Ron trailed off looking dazed.

Luna boldly pulled the door open again, wand at the ready. The door fell off it's rusted hinges to expose the horror that lay beyond it:

A naked female sat on the ancient toilet, slumped back against the cistern. She was emaciated and sticky looking. It was hard to tell where her skin stopped and the toilet began, so discolored was her skin which was a sickening shiny bronze-yellow. The hair was more bushy and unkempt then ever before. Her face was contorted in what looked like fear and hate.

"Hermione!?" asked Harry.

"It's her." Luna answered, gesturing toward the iridescent flies swarming Hermione's torso.

Shiny blues, blacks, oranges and green writhed over Hermione's breasts. It was oddly beautiful but stunk worse than anything any of them had smelled in recent years.

"Hermione, say something!" yelled Harry. Her silence was almost as unnerving as her condition.

"DESE FLIIIIIEEESSS !!!!!!!!" Screamed Hermione, causing Harry, Ron and Luna to jump. Her voice was strangled; nothing like how it usually sounded.

"IT'S DESE FLIES! DESE FLIES THA' SPIN AND BUZZ 'ROUND MY TITS!!" Hermione ranted on. "THAY EATIN' N SUPPIN UPON MY FLESH SO I KEEP GETTIN SKINNY WHILE THEY KEEP ON A LIVIN'!!!!! GOLF BALL SIZE MOTHERFUCKERS THA'LL CRAWL IN YOUR BREASS IF YOU NAW CAREFUL!!!!!!!!! I SUMMON DEM AN REGRET SUMMONIN' DEM TO THIS VERY MOTHERFUCKIN MOMEEEEENNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!AAAAAHH!!!!

"What do we do Luna!?" cried Ron.

"We let her scream. Encourage her." replied Luna as she pulled out a small drum from the mysterious bag and began beating it. The blonde then began screaming in just as unintelligible terms as well.

"HERMIONE WHAT CAUSEDED THE BREASS FLIES TO AFFLICT YOU!!!!!!?????" cried Luna

"WAS PRACTICIN' SPELLS WHEN SOMTHIN' WEN' WROOOOOONNNNGG!!!!!!!! GREY HOLE OPENED IN THE AIR AN DESE FLIES COME OUT OF THERE AN' THEN MY BREASS LIFTED OUTTA MY SHIRT AN' THE FLIES CAME DOWN AN ENTERED INTO MY TITS!!!

At this point Hermione, irate from her condition, rose off the toilet and rushed towards her friends with unknown intentions.

"Incarcerous"! Shouted Ron, causing ropes to fly from his wand and bind the decrepit Hermione.

" I BEEN ITCHIN AN' BURNIN' AN' DYIN' WHILE DESE FLIES KEEP ON A LIVIN'!!!!!!! THEY DON' CARE ABOUT ME OR NO-ONE BUT THEY CAN' INFECT NO-ONE ELSE BUT ME CAUSE I CALLEDED DEM!!!"

Hermione continued ranting in this fashion while Luna continued to encourage her. Harry then realized he was observing some kind of weird combination of muggle exorcism, magic and pest control. Feeling bad about standing there doing nothing, Harry frantically began digging around the mysterious bag, looking for anything of use. He saw chicken feathers, mysterious plants and a can of Raid among a few other items he ignored. Grabbing the Raid he went as close as he dared to Hermione and let loose with it.

"PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE TRIED THA' AN' THE BIG FLY WENT DOWN HER THROAT AN KILL HER! THA WAS THE ONLY GOOD DESE FLIES DONE!!!!!!" shrieked Hermione.

The flies whooshed up into a cloud and dived toward Harry.

"Harry, keep your mouth shut!!!!!!" cried Ron.

The flies swarmed Harry's face causing him to swing wildly around the bathroom. Ron also swiped at Harryy's infested face but wether this was helping or hurting was unclear. In the flurry of activity the three had failed to notice Hermione had stopped ranting. The flies on Harry's face suddenly but slowly flew back to Hermione and hovered slowly around her.

"Get your wands ready!" shouted Luna.

Harry and Ron readied their wands just in time:

Hermione's lips rolled back over her entire face so that he clenched teeth and the fleshy inside of her lips were visible.

"On the count of three Stun her." said the blonde, readying her own wand.

" One, two, three..."

"STUPIFY!!!!" shouted the three.

The flies surrounding Hermione were blown from her breasts and fell onto the floor. They then slowly disappeared without even leaving yellow smudges; just dis-appeared into thin air. Hermione then slumped to the ground semi-conscious and her lips unrolled.

"We did it." said Luna panting from the exhaustion of the exorcism.

_To Be Continued..._

Thanks for reading:) Please review. I'll probably wrap things up in one more chapter.


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